I'm anticipating that I won't change anything. In fact, I''ll be very happy and surprised to change only ONE person's life. In that sense, some might argue that nothing meaningful will come out of my eight week long project. Does that mean I'm useless? I don't think so.
I'll give my Duke Engage project as an example. I'm working with disadvantaged Belize children in summer camps. Now I have two ways that I can look at this project:
A) I'm going to go there and change kids. I won't just be a teacher. I'll mentor them as a big brother. The kids will love life for at least for 6 hours/day, and it'll be an escape from their hell-hole life. They'll look forward to school and remember me.
B) I'm a camp counselor. Both parents work all day. As a volunteer, I'm able to provide free babysitting while the parents are at work. We also provide lunch.
Even though both will hopefully be true, B is what Peacework is banking on. It's not like I'm useless. I'm just doing something that I could be doing in Baton Rouge. I imagine that's what those disillusioned Peace corps workers are talking about whenever they lament the futility of their service. I'm not doing anything 'meaningful.' My utility lies in the fact that someone has to do service on the ground. The cumulative effort of people working together is the only way to get stuff done. Whether my time investment in this project is a whole other debate...
With that said, I'm going to say something selfish. I'm not going to Belize for the kids. I'm going for myself. I obviously want to be competent and help some people out. I love that tingly, gratifying feeling of knowing you made someone's day. That's what usually motivates me in service. It's still motivating me in a way. However, I think I'm more likely to get that feeling at the Parker House. I want to be pragmatic about my goals because I've read too many stories similar to those of the Peace Corps workers. I kind of realize that I'm just an inexperienced minion.
So at the end of the day, I'm doing Duke Engage first and foremost for personal growth and second for the kids. I could do stuff that is more ''useful'' somewhere else. But Belize is special for a few reasons:
1.) It's a really poor nation-->perspective
2.) I can immerse myself in a foreign culture
3.) Enjoy Belize as a tourist; supposedly one of the few tropical oases left in the world; I want to scuba dive and snorkel, hike, etc. Also want to enjoy the (somewhat less) power of the American dollar a la India
4.) Help some people out; I love kids.
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